WOW, I am not sure where to even start, I can't believe that is has been 6 months since I posted a blog! I was blessed with two beautiful grandbabies in October, Mylee Rayne came to Ty and Katie on the 19th and then surprise!!! Bryson Michael came to Nick and Tawni on the 20th. We were all so shocked, they were supposed to be about 2 weeks apart but obviously they had their own ideas, Katie was going to be a c-section, she went natural, Tawni was going to be natural she needed a c-section, babies have their own minds. I have had so much fun hugging and squeezing babies the last few months, I m so lucky. I have been feeling better all the time, nothing really to report on the cancer scene so thats good news.
We had a great Thanksgiving at Ty and Katies, most of the kids and grandkids were there. Of course it is hard to get everyone on the same meal plan, due to other families and distance etc. We miss those who arent able to make it. I didnt have near enough time though in one evening to enjoy all those grandchildren and new babies. Right before Christmas I had a horse riding accident, and broke a couple ribs and bruised my butt and back so bad they stuck me in the hospital for like 5 days and gave me 3 units of blood, but once again I am strong and recovered enough to get out of the hospital the day of our family Christmas party, barely made it in time, whew. So anyway the doctor says no more horses, but I say I am not living that way. Kent and the Kids say no more young horses for me to train, so I gave in kinda. Now I only do ground training and ride my well trained mares. I don't think I would be a very nice person without my horses.
In January on the 20th, like 2 weeks early, Adalynn D was born and chose to live with Tony and Emily, she is so precious ! They are so far away that I had to wait until my planned trip the end of Feb to get to see her. The end of February I had my normal appointment at the cancer clinic. We then went to Charleston Mnt resort for Tawnis birthday, umm good food. Shaylie had asked me "when are you ever gonna stay at my house?" earlier that day, it was so cute. I stayed with her that night, all the parents went to see a movie or something, and I watched the kids. The next day I drove down to Mesa for 2 weeks to see Tony with his family and new baby. The 2 weeks went by really fast, we had Kennedys birthday while I was there and Adalynns blessing, and I spent some quality time with Carter. I think this is the first time that I have spent so much time with Tony at once in his adult life, we are always so busy with different things in life, I really enjoyed it. And if was fun to see him with his tiny baby, he is soooo in love with her. I was totally impressed with his relationship with Kennedy and Carter, he has truely taken them to his heart as "his". I got to enjoy time with Emily and understand how she and Tony and so right for each other.
I followed Nick and Tawni back to Nevada, and took Kennedy with me to spend some Grammi time at the farm. Nick and Tawni had signed up for a half marathon, thats like a 13 mile run....crazy kids. Anyway Kennedy and I stayed at their house Friday night and got to babysit Bryson the next morning while they ran. I think I had WAY more fun than they did, they were moving slow when they got home, but I am SO proud of them for getting out there and doing it. Bryson is so funny he laughs all the time and trys to talk,,,,,,,,,,,,Kennedy got to be the "big" girl and help me watch Bryson and play with him......so cute
Well after church on Sunday we all started making fresh squeezed orange juice (yummy arizona oranges from Elggrens) and Sylvia calls because Darold is back in the hospital and his bladder is leaking into his abdomen which will cause septic infection, they aren't sure if he will make it through surgery if that is what they try. It was very scary and a lot of things happening and going thru my mind. The next day he wasn't any better, kinda going up and down, so I flew to Oregon to be with him. He was intubated, had iv's everywhere, bags to drain everything, machines to keep his lungs going and moniters for everything, and was drugged so he couldn't fight it. It was very saddening, he has fought a hard battle for most of his life. Finally after a week of prayers, and sitting and watching him go in and out of consciousness, and seeing him struggle to talk and pretty much living at the hospital, he was doing well enough I felt like I could come home.
This morning, I got a phone call from my brother, he said "HI SIS" in a very deep voice (from the trac and tubing) and what a thrill that was to hear his voice for the first time since March 14. I know this blog is supposed to be about how I am dealing with cancer, but really right now I dont seem to have time for cancer, there are too many more important things going on.
Oh almost forgot, in January, Kami announces she is pregnant. Two weeks later KJ and his girlfriend, Cricket announce they are pregnant....Kami is due Sept 5, Cricket is due Sept 20....is this like deja vue ? Tawni and Katie ? ....who next? I dont know, we will see, but there is no time for cancer in my world !!!!! Love it, Dont you ?
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Hi everyone. I am here in Oregon on vacation. Tony has been telling me for a while that I need to update my blog and I keep putting it off, sorry.
So I did rescans and tests early this month and just before leaving to come up here I talked to John (my P.A.) and although I don't know the exact numbers yet, he reassured me that I am doing excellent, actually doing better he said, so I have been running around on a natural high. I cancelled my appointment since I am out of state, but will have a follow up on Oct 9th, perhaps then I will have an idea how small the tumor has shrunk. Life has been good, always a roller coaster, but I am sure that is Gods way of keeping us on our toes. We weren't put here to just party and have fun, we work and make decisions and then make those decisions work for us.
Kent and I left Pahrump on Sept 20th, leaving Kami in charge of the house and all the animals (and the injured horse) while we came to Oregon to fish and vacation. She has been there f0r a week alone and done a very very good job, I am so proud of her. Kent had to fly home on Sunday the 27th and he reported to me that our injured stallion looks 1000% better. The vet even called me to tell me how good she was doing, so I am real impressed, maybe she will want to do some vet work...??
We went fishing with George and Debbie, a trip we had planned with them the end of June, over to Gold Beach. It was very good weather, I got sunburned even tho I put sun block on about 3 times a day, but I am almost healed up and going back to the coast tomorrow to fish some more and then bring my trailer back to Darold's where I will leave it for the winter. I expect I will be driving or flying back to see him soon, he seems to be sick a lot these days. Right now he feels good, so we have been out driving in the mountains and looking at land. I hope that I can find something that will make Kent and I happy and we can afford, I soooo love it here.
We are having salmon tonight, Darold, Sylvia and myself. We caught some fish at the coast, nothing huge but it was great fun. We weren't out on the ocean but were in the boat in the harbor and river. Sorry that Kent isnt here to share the first salmon.
In a way I am kinda tired of all these darned pills, I have added a bunch of vitamins to the cancer drugs, so I take a lot now, but I think I am feeling stronger and more energetic. Not near as tired these days. I think one of my few complaints is that my blood is so thin now from the thinners that I bleed easy and makes a mess, hahaha. Also my toes and finger nails are getting sore. So I really need to pay attention and take care of them. Well dinner is ready, I love you all
So I did rescans and tests early this month and just before leaving to come up here I talked to John (my P.A.) and although I don't know the exact numbers yet, he reassured me that I am doing excellent, actually doing better he said, so I have been running around on a natural high. I cancelled my appointment since I am out of state, but will have a follow up on Oct 9th, perhaps then I will have an idea how small the tumor has shrunk. Life has been good, always a roller coaster, but I am sure that is Gods way of keeping us on our toes. We weren't put here to just party and have fun, we work and make decisions and then make those decisions work for us.
Kent and I left Pahrump on Sept 20th, leaving Kami in charge of the house and all the animals (and the injured horse) while we came to Oregon to fish and vacation. She has been there f0r a week alone and done a very very good job, I am so proud of her. Kent had to fly home on Sunday the 27th and he reported to me that our injured stallion looks 1000% better. The vet even called me to tell me how good she was doing, so I am real impressed, maybe she will want to do some vet work...??
We went fishing with George and Debbie, a trip we had planned with them the end of June, over to Gold Beach. It was very good weather, I got sunburned even tho I put sun block on about 3 times a day, but I am almost healed up and going back to the coast tomorrow to fish some more and then bring my trailer back to Darold's where I will leave it for the winter. I expect I will be driving or flying back to see him soon, he seems to be sick a lot these days. Right now he feels good, so we have been out driving in the mountains and looking at land. I hope that I can find something that will make Kent and I happy and we can afford, I soooo love it here.
We are having salmon tonight, Darold, Sylvia and myself. We caught some fish at the coast, nothing huge but it was great fun. We weren't out on the ocean but were in the boat in the harbor and river. Sorry that Kent isnt here to share the first salmon.
In a way I am kinda tired of all these darned pills, I have added a bunch of vitamins to the cancer drugs, so I take a lot now, but I think I am feeling stronger and more energetic. Not near as tired these days. I think one of my few complaints is that my blood is so thin now from the thinners that I bleed easy and makes a mess, hahaha. Also my toes and finger nails are getting sore. So I really need to pay attention and take care of them. Well dinner is ready, I love you all
Friday, May 22, 2009
Trying to Live and Laugh (out loud) and Love !
Wednessday I was able to ride my horse again. It was so great ! Imagine being grounded from your most favorite thing in the world, it was 3 months since I had to quit riding because of the brain tumor and swelling. The last time I rode in February, I couldn't get on with out using a block of wood to stand on AND putting the horse on the down hill side, Then I rode for about a mile and started doing some training excercises, got dizzy and fell off, of course the horse I was riding that day was not my favorite or even the second favorite. So she left me on the ground and ran home. Some people down the road saw it and I only had to walk for a ways, they came and gave me a ride. LOL ! Ain't life fun. So anyway, wed I just stayed in the yard because I was riding alone again, WOW I felt life come back. Still had to use a block to get on, but it was a lot easier and this horse is much taller than the one in Feb. So thurs here I go again, this time same tall horse "Chick" and all I did was put her on the down hill side and I MADE IT! Anyway I rode around for a few minutes and ask Kent to go with me, which of course he wouldn't so I left anyway. We rode about a mile or mile and a half circle and then came back. We had a good ride, Chick's baby was with us. She was born the week I started radiation in Feb and hadn't been out of the yard yet. She loved it, ran circles around us, jumped and kicked and came home exhausted. Me too. So I guess I am unstoppable again !!
We had another new foal yesterday, He is gorgeous. He is called a grullo, (grew-yo) which is a rare color and we had hoped to someday get one out of our two dun colored (buckskin with black points and dorsal stripe) quarter horses, so we are real happy about it. He will have black ears, mane, tail, dorsal stripe, lower legs and may also have what is called barring, that is black striping on his legs and withers when his baby hair sheds out, right now he is kinda dark smokey gray/brown. The vet is going to come out later today and check him over for me.
Even with all the fun and excitement in my life, I still have to remind myself to not brood sometimes, and to stay positive. It seems like I should have enough things happening that there would not be time for negative thoughts, but I get them sometimes, last night was not good. I got depressed and could not seem to let it go, so I just stayed in my room and read, watched tv and then about 1 am I went to the other room to just sleep alone. I have so much to be thankful for but sometimes it is just hard to make myself not wallow in self pity. I even tried to google and find other women who have metastatic cancer and are still living after years but most stats are not too great, they seem to run about 6 mo to 2 or 3 years. I am at about 2 and 1/2 years now, so does that mean I am running low on time? If any of you know a web site that is more positive for us metastatic people PLEASE let me know I could use some more positive reinforcement at times.
I was talking to Tawni one day about all my animals, and kids, etc. and explaining how its hard for me to not treat my animals like my kids. I was always one of those people who needs to be needed, and now it seems that my kids don't need me so much anymore. I think about my kids and they are all almost grown now, most of them have families of their own and I am so proud of them all, KJ plans to go into the mililtary this summer, Kami will be here for another year and then is planning college. Then what will I do with myself? I am feeling the empty nest coming already. I guess I will have to start taking the grandchildren away from thier parents more. LOL, I can make them even more rotten then return them !! But I can see that in the last couple of years I have really become attached to my animals because there isn't always someone near to nuture.
Speaking of grandchildren.....my two new grandchildren are coming this fall, Ty and Katie will be having their little angel in October, while Nick and Tawni will have their little son in November. How cool for me, I will be spending a few days with each of them when the babies come. I am not sure about Tony and Emily, they want to start on a baby right away also, What about Tandi ??? better start soon too! And Trenton still wants a little girl, someday. He just needs to find a wife.
In the meantime I have 13 that should be able to start coming out to the mini farm to visit us.
I think that Katie and the kids might come out in a week or two, not sure about Ty yet, we are going to mess with the boat and try to fix it up so we can use it. Cross your fingers for us !!
I had a very nice mothers day this year, I heard from all my little and big angels, and Tandi, Tawni, Nick, Trenton, Steven, KJ and Kami were all able to come over. We planted trees and did some yard stuff, it was great fun. Hunter and Chase were with their mom and Shaylie was with her other Grandma in California, so no little ones this day. We had B B Q steaks, and KENT cooked them, they were excellent. I hope everyone else had a good time as well.
I had thought at one time to start a teen group home or something with foster kids again after the Kami had graduated but I think that may not be possible now, we'll see how I feel in another year. So anyway it sounds like I am rambling, so maybe I should sign off for now...........
Remember if you find any good web sites, etc. send them to me I can use any help you can offer.
Angel told me I need to laugh out loud more, so that is my goal ! Live, Love and Laugh (out loud) so hear goes,,,,haahaa haha ! Love You All !!!
We had another new foal yesterday, He is gorgeous. He is called a grullo, (grew-yo) which is a rare color and we had hoped to someday get one out of our two dun colored (buckskin with black points and dorsal stripe) quarter horses, so we are real happy about it. He will have black ears, mane, tail, dorsal stripe, lower legs and may also have what is called barring, that is black striping on his legs and withers when his baby hair sheds out, right now he is kinda dark smokey gray/brown. The vet is going to come out later today and check him over for me.
Even with all the fun and excitement in my life, I still have to remind myself to not brood sometimes, and to stay positive. It seems like I should have enough things happening that there would not be time for negative thoughts, but I get them sometimes, last night was not good. I got depressed and could not seem to let it go, so I just stayed in my room and read, watched tv and then about 1 am I went to the other room to just sleep alone. I have so much to be thankful for but sometimes it is just hard to make myself not wallow in self pity. I even tried to google and find other women who have metastatic cancer and are still living after years but most stats are not too great, they seem to run about 6 mo to 2 or 3 years. I am at about 2 and 1/2 years now, so does that mean I am running low on time? If any of you know a web site that is more positive for us metastatic people PLEASE let me know I could use some more positive reinforcement at times.
I was talking to Tawni one day about all my animals, and kids, etc. and explaining how its hard for me to not treat my animals like my kids. I was always one of those people who needs to be needed, and now it seems that my kids don't need me so much anymore. I think about my kids and they are all almost grown now, most of them have families of their own and I am so proud of them all, KJ plans to go into the mililtary this summer, Kami will be here for another year and then is planning college. Then what will I do with myself? I am feeling the empty nest coming already. I guess I will have to start taking the grandchildren away from thier parents more. LOL, I can make them even more rotten then return them !! But I can see that in the last couple of years I have really become attached to my animals because there isn't always someone near to nuture.
Speaking of grandchildren.....my two new grandchildren are coming this fall, Ty and Katie will be having their little angel in October, while Nick and Tawni will have their little son in November. How cool for me, I will be spending a few days with each of them when the babies come. I am not sure about Tony and Emily, they want to start on a baby right away also, What about Tandi ??? better start soon too! And Trenton still wants a little girl, someday. He just needs to find a wife.
In the meantime I have 13 that should be able to start coming out to the mini farm to visit us.
I think that Katie and the kids might come out in a week or two, not sure about Ty yet, we are going to mess with the boat and try to fix it up so we can use it. Cross your fingers for us !!
I had a very nice mothers day this year, I heard from all my little and big angels, and Tandi, Tawni, Nick, Trenton, Steven, KJ and Kami were all able to come over. We planted trees and did some yard stuff, it was great fun. Hunter and Chase were with their mom and Shaylie was with her other Grandma in California, so no little ones this day. We had B B Q steaks, and KENT cooked them, they were excellent. I hope everyone else had a good time as well.
I had thought at one time to start a teen group home or something with foster kids again after the Kami had graduated but I think that may not be possible now, we'll see how I feel in another year. So anyway it sounds like I am rambling, so maybe I should sign off for now...........
Remember if you find any good web sites, etc. send them to me I can use any help you can offer.
Angel told me I need to laugh out loud more, so that is my goal ! Live, Love and Laugh (out loud) so hear goes,,,,haahaa haha ! Love You All !!!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Feeling good, enjoying life
Well I got to watch my son, Tony, marry his beautiful sweatheart, Emily, on Saturday in Laughlin, Nv, the wedding was so nice, simple and heart felt, the kids seem very happy. Then after relaxing a while some of the families had to return home and the rest of us went swimming and ate, then just relaxed and let the little kids enjoy themselves at the lake for a awhile. I feel good enough these days that I offered to babysit while all the young adults wents out to a movie, Hannah actually entertained the boys and watched them while I just over saw the whole thing. She made popcorn and got drinks for them, she also got the mess on Sunday morning!
Anyway I am feeling stronger and stronger every day. I havent been riding my horse yet, but I will get to it. For some reason my left leg is still a little weak, (thats the one I need to step up in the stirrup) I may need to start lifting weights or working out to build back up. My scalp doesn't really hurt anymore but some of my hair is still falling out. I have enough in the back still for a small pony tail, that makes me feel better. My eyebrows haven't fallen out yet, that will be another real sad day if they do, I hate that cause I am not very good at the make up thing and painting eyebrows, I am still considering tattooing them on though. I really hope I can stop the chemo drug soon so maybe my hair can sart growing again. Since being in the hospital I had to start taking a blood thinner, its a daily tummy injection, not so bad, but I am always bruised, good thing half tops are out, LOL.
I have to fill out graduation announcements this week so I can get them in the mail, KJ graduates on June 4th. This has been a trying year for him, I am so glad school is almost out. Kami will be glad for summer break she doesn't really like school either but at least keeps her work done.
We will be going to the family reunion again the year, its the week end before the 4th of July weekend, so like June 27th. I hope some of my older kids will be able to go. I think we are going to spend a day on the beach/coast or something fun, we have a week (before the 27th) before Kent has to be back to work on the 29th. I want to go salmon fishing but not sure what the season is so I have to check on that. And of course we will spend a night with my brother and visit as many people as we can during the week.
It is nice to not be so tired all the time, I just have moments now and not every day. I mowed some of the grass today and weeded my teeny weeny garden, its about 8 by 20 is all, so not much work. Now the wind is bowing about 40 mph so I called it a day outside. I like a gentle wind but when I cant catch my breath it is a little strong. Anyway I fingured I would type a note and let the wind blow with out me !!
Anyway I am feeling stronger and stronger every day. I havent been riding my horse yet, but I will get to it. For some reason my left leg is still a little weak, (thats the one I need to step up in the stirrup) I may need to start lifting weights or working out to build back up. My scalp doesn't really hurt anymore but some of my hair is still falling out. I have enough in the back still for a small pony tail, that makes me feel better. My eyebrows haven't fallen out yet, that will be another real sad day if they do, I hate that cause I am not very good at the make up thing and painting eyebrows, I am still considering tattooing them on though. I really hope I can stop the chemo drug soon so maybe my hair can sart growing again. Since being in the hospital I had to start taking a blood thinner, its a daily tummy injection, not so bad, but I am always bruised, good thing half tops are out, LOL.
I have to fill out graduation announcements this week so I can get them in the mail, KJ graduates on June 4th. This has been a trying year for him, I am so glad school is almost out. Kami will be glad for summer break she doesn't really like school either but at least keeps her work done.
We will be going to the family reunion again the year, its the week end before the 4th of July weekend, so like June 27th. I hope some of my older kids will be able to go. I think we are going to spend a day on the beach/coast or something fun, we have a week (before the 27th) before Kent has to be back to work on the 29th. I want to go salmon fishing but not sure what the season is so I have to check on that. And of course we will spend a night with my brother and visit as many people as we can during the week.
It is nice to not be so tired all the time, I just have moments now and not every day. I mowed some of the grass today and weeded my teeny weeny garden, its about 8 by 20 is all, so not much work. Now the wind is bowing about 40 mph so I called it a day outside. I like a gentle wind but when I cant catch my breath it is a little strong. Anyway I fingured I would type a note and let the wind blow with out me !!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
No news is good news right?
OK, So my son, Tony advises me that I haven't blogged since the middle of April, so here I am ! Well my hair doesn't hurt anymore but that may be because there isn't much of it left. I still have about a two inch strip around the base of my head but the top and sides are pretty sparse. You know the old man hippie look, hahaha.
I haven't quite gotten the insurance company and the pharmacy on the same page yet, but I am getting closer. Anyway, I have been feeling pretty good, some days I still feel nauseous and flu like, but it's not everyday.
I am looking forward to Tony's wedding and new family, and the 2 new grandbabies. (Nick and Tawni & Ty and Katie) I always love family functions and I am sure every one else does too. Anyway I am excited for all of them (and me too).
I have been working in my yard this last week, planted some flowers and a couple bushes. Also bought 7 trees which are not planted yet, and I got my garden planted. I haven't been riding my horses yet, I guess I am a little leery to ride alone still, but I will be back up there soon.
Friday is zometa and faslodex (sp?) day. I am only going to the cancer center about 1 day a month, seems weird but in a good way I guess. Well time to finish chores. Thanks for all the prayers and blessings.
I haven't quite gotten the insurance company and the pharmacy on the same page yet, but I am getting closer. Anyway, I have been feeling pretty good, some days I still feel nauseous and flu like, but it's not everyday.
I am looking forward to Tony's wedding and new family, and the 2 new grandbabies. (Nick and Tawni & Ty and Katie) I always love family functions and I am sure every one else does too. Anyway I am excited for all of them (and me too).
I have been working in my yard this last week, planted some flowers and a couple bushes. Also bought 7 trees which are not planted yet, and I got my garden planted. I haven't been riding my horses yet, I guess I am a little leery to ride alone still, but I will be back up there soon.
Friday is zometa and faslodex (sp?) day. I am only going to the cancer center about 1 day a month, seems weird but in a good way I guess. Well time to finish chores. Thanks for all the prayers and blessings.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
LAZY DAZE
Well today is wednessday and I have 18 shirts to iron, I tried to pay Kami $2 a shirt to help me iron them all, she said no. So after contemplating and procrastinating, I made Kami call the dry cleaners and they only charge $1.75 a shirt to iron, so guess who is ironing now? Well I did iron 2 shirts so Kent could work the next 2 days but that was as much wifey stuff as I could handle.
Today actually started off kinda lazy, I didn't get out of be till 10, Woke up at 7 but everytime I rolled over nothing hurt so I just chilled with the fox 5 news, fed the horses in my jammies. Anyway other than being a lazy day, it seems like a good one. I plan to go out after bit and work on the tractor again I am trying to get my garden started. I have lots of room if anyone wants to make a garden here, of course that would require you coming out sometime to at least plant it and harvest it....... OK, so I love you all (and thanks again to Emily for setting up my blog) mom/dj
Today actually started off kinda lazy, I didn't get out of be till 10, Woke up at 7 but everytime I rolled over nothing hurt so I just chilled with the fox 5 news, fed the horses in my jammies. Anyway other than being a lazy day, it seems like a good one. I plan to go out after bit and work on the tractor again I am trying to get my garden started. I have lots of room if anyone wants to make a garden here, of course that would require you coming out sometime to at least plant it and harvest it....... OK, so I love you all (and thanks again to Emily for setting up my blog) mom/dj
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Hey everyone, Im back !! I was going to blog y'all last week, I was grumpy and didn't feel well, tired of my hair falling out and having a swollen face. I still felt like it was a chore to breathe sometimes, like when I was trying to do something, but maybe I expected to heal like I used to in the old days,,,,anyway, then I was so grouchy I didn't even get on the computor much. Those of you who have done the chemo or radiation thing, know what I'm talking about when I talk about the scalp pain and my hair hurting, and if you have not dealt with it personally I know you have listened to me whine. So like yesterday when I woke up, my hair didn't hurt, I layed in bed touching all over my head and there was no pain. All day yesterday no pain. Then this morning I didn't wake up till 7 and again felt all over my head and pushed in different spots, NO PAIN ! And what does this tell us?
This tells us that my hair should be done falling out and maybe it can start growing again. So as you can see I am in a better mood today. I also feel better , yesterday I went out and drove the tractor a little, and plan to do more today after I go to Vegas for an appoinment. Dont know if its a coincidence or if its psycological about the feeling better and hair thing, really don't care, as long as I feel better. Oh crap, I gotta head to Vegas. talk later...................dj
This tells us that my hair should be done falling out and maybe it can start growing again. So as you can see I am in a better mood today. I also feel better , yesterday I went out and drove the tractor a little, and plan to do more today after I go to Vegas for an appoinment. Dont know if its a coincidence or if its psycological about the feeling better and hair thing, really don't care, as long as I feel better. Oh crap, I gotta head to Vegas. talk later...................dj
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